if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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