Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
there is glitter all over my balls
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
