Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
