You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
