Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
