Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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