Michael Bay diarrhea
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
