GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Randomize
