Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
