if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize