Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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