We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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