i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
