so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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