So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
