Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
