How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
