I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
After tacos, we're chasing women.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
