Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
