You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
