Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
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