Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize