No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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