is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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