she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
