Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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