Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
