areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
