I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
We smell like vodka and hangover
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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