He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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