He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
