My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Just high enough for therapy.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize
