I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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