I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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