This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
my being single is dangerous.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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