so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
