PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize