are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
