she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
