A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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