Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
