I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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