Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
