A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Randomize
