no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Farmville is her only friend.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
