Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Ladies don't puke and tell
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
