you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
