I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
