oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
