he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
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