i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
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