I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
