I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
