I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
