My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
