Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
my shit smells like andre
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
