i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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