Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
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