let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
