How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Randomize
