Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
