if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize