it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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