This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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