I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
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