I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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